


we were everything, weren't we

by athenacalls



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Getting Back Together, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Single Parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-22 03:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30032193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athenacalls/pseuds/athenacalls
Summary: Two years ago, James left during senior year to perform with his band, the Marauders, but never heard from Lily, his girlfriend, again.A year and ten months ago, Lily Evans found out she was pregnant, with James' baby nonetheless, and decided not to tell him.Now, with a fourteen-month-old son, and James' return, marauders in tow, Lily has to somehow figure out how to face James, the boy she left behind her, and tell him that he has a son, nonetheless.Boy, was she in trouble
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, background Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	1. Miss Lily Evans, come to join us?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, and I have absolutely *no* idea what I'm doing, however, if you're reading this, I hope you enjoy it!

“Harry James Evans!” Lily Evans exclaimed, albeit fondly, “You know we don’t colour on Mama's bed.”

Harry, Lily’s 14-month-old son, just giggled at her, before reaching out, and grabbing for her bright hair. 

“You know, you look a lot like your Dad sometimes,” Lily said as she picked him up, and swung him around, before glancing at the clock that hung on the wall of their tiny flat,“We’d better get going if we want to make it to The Phoenix in time,” she muttered more to herself than Harry, “Auntie Marlene’s going to kill me for being late one of these days.”

***

Twenty minutes later, Lily found herself juggling a bag, a stroller, and a wiggling toddler while rushing down the busy sidewalk that led to The Phoenix, a quaint little coffee shop that was owned by one of her high school teachers. While she had always had plans to leave Cokeworth as soon as possible, and become a teacher, finding herself pregnant at the age of 17 had really derailed her plans. While she certainly didn’t regret having Harry, she really hadn’t known how she was going to support herself, and a baby, without a degree.

Enter, Minerva McGonagall (otherwise known as an actual angel on earth,) who had employed her, paid for her medical expenses, and had supported her while her own family wouldn’t. If she could’ve told 14-year-old Lily that Professor McGonagall would be the most important person in the life a mere five years later, she would’ve, just to see the look on younger Lily’s face.

While her high school English teacher had always been strict, Lily had always felt a draw to her, which inevitably led to Lily having tea and biscuits in McGonagall’s office at every possible opportunity throughout the years. Minerva had been her confidante in every way possible, so it was no surprise that she had been the one to suggest that Lily was pregnant.

**December 14, almost two years ago**  
_It had all started when she had run out of class, just to throw up for the third time that morning. While she had blamed it on a nasty stomach bug, her perfect attendance might have to suffer if it kept up._

_Upon hearing the bell ring, exiting the bathroom stall, Lily found herself face to face with Professor McGonagall, who was looking at her with worry._

_“Lily, would you like to come and sit with me?” the older woman questioned softly._

_Lily almost burst into tears right there._

_After seating herself in the armchair in one corner of the comfortable room, Lily accepted a tea from her teacher, who began to speak._

_“I know it’s been hard for you since James left fo-”_

_“Please don’t talk about James,” Lily pleaded, “I know it’s been more than a month since he left, but I really can’t handle it.”_

_“Alright,” McGonagall started again, “No more talk about Mr. Potter. However, I would like to know what’s going on in your head Lily, you’re running yourself into the ground.”_

_“I’m really not,” Lily spoke up, “I’m doing just as much as I have any other year.”_

_“I know Lily, but I’ve heard from Professor Slughorn and Professor Dumbledore that you’ve run out of their classes with no warning this week, aside from seeing it myself today. Then, I walk into the bathroom to hear you choking. Are you sick?”_

_“No, no, I’m not sick,” Lily assured the other woman, “In fact, I feel fine most of the time,”_

_“Except for when you don’t.”_

_“Except for when I don’t,” Lily sighed._

_“Lily, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I really think you need to take a break. You’ve been exhausted Jam-”_

_“Not him”_

_“Since the boys left. One of these days everything is going to catch up to you.”_

_“I know, Professor,” Lily started, already tearing up, for no reason.“I’ve just been so down lately, more than normal, and then I’ve been sick, and I just really can’t take any time off, 'cause if I do I’ll have to think about everything that happened, and I just can’t do that,” Lily paused, and noticed that her mentor had gone quiet, and seemed to be thinking very hard, “Professor, are you alright?”_

_This seemed to startle the woman, who stopped to think for a second more before responding._

_“I apologize, Lily, it’s just, well,” she seemed to go over her words for a moment more, “is it possible you’re pregnant?”_

_Lily thought back for a moment, and then, “shit”_

**October, present-day**  
“I’m sorry!” Lily exclaimed as she pushed through the door to The Phoenix, 5 minutes late for the start of her shift, “I am so so so sorry!”

Harry just laughed at this, before squirming in her arms to look at others in the cafe.

“Nevermind that now,” laughed Marlene, Lily’s best friend since their first day of school, all those years ago, “Give me Harry, and you go talk to Minerva before you start, it’s slow in here anyway.”

“Have I ever told you I love you?” responded Lily, while passing the wiggling toddler over to her friend, “‘Cause I do.”

***

Lily ran up the stairs to the upper floor of the building, where her former teacher was sure to be.

“Lily!” Minerva exclaimed, startled, “I was beginning to think you’d never show.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry, Harry was colouring on my bedsheets, and the-”

“Nonsense, my dear, just joking,” Minerva laughed, “Did you bring him today?”

“Where else would he be?”

“Well not with you, apparently,” the older woman questioned, “Did you forget him somewhere?”

“Oh no, he’s downstairs with Marlene, but I’m sure he’ll be up for a rest in a bit, if you’re still okay with that.”

Minerva looked appalled at this comment.

“Lily, I told you that I would always be here for you and Harry. I offered you my own flat when you had nowhere else to go, and even when you refused I told you if you ever needed help I would be here to look after Harry.”

“Well,” Lily said, slightly shyly, “He’ll be upstairs in a few minutes then, knowing how fast Marlene wears him out”

With this comment, Lily gave her mentor a thankful look and turned to head back into the main store.

***

On her way down the stairs, Lily heard the door clang open but thought nothing of it until she heard a familiar voice.

“OI MOONY,” the voice exclaimed, “ISN’T THE PHOENIX THE CAFE MINNIE OPENED THE YEAR WE LEFT ON TOUR.”

“Jesus, Pads,” said another voice, “I’m right beside you, no need to yell.”

As Lily progressed down the stairs, she recognized the voices, and almost froze in her path, only continuing because Harry was there.

“You reckon the old bird works here, still?” said the first voice, almost confirming that she did, in fact, know the owner of the voice, as if the nicknames weren’t a dead giveaway.

“Well,” continued the second voice, “All things considered, I don’t think Professor McGonagall would have aged backward, and gone blonde in our absence.”

Lily turned the corner, to see two familiar faces nearing the counter, where a smiling Marlene, accompanied by Harry bouncing on her hip, was looking questioningly back at them.

“Sorry about my boyfriend here,” apologized Remus Lupin, as he took the final steps towards the counter, “If I’m not incorrect, the owner here is Minerva McGonagall? We had her as a Professor before we left school, at Hogwarts Academy.”

Lily silently prayed that Marlene, who had no clue about Harry’s father, or her and the two boy’s history, wouldn’t bring her up.

Let’s just say her prayers were not answered.

“Of course! I have a friend who went there for a while, she’s actually just upstairs talking to Minerva right now!”

“Who!” Sirius Black exclaimed with a familiar enthusiasm, that almost made Lily smile, “Maybe we knew them.”

Marlene decided at this moment to turn around, and notice Lily standing there, just out of the boy’s view. “Well, here she is, Miss Lily Evans, come to join us?”

Sirius and Remus’ heads whipped around, and they both looked like they were about to say something, but neither of them could before Harry noticed her there, and burst out,

“Mama!”

This was not good.


	2. Uh, Lily?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I just posted the first chapter a few minutes ago, but I just finished this, so I thought I'd get it up.

Lily felt like she was going to throw up. Not only were two of her former friends, who had left school before the end of her senior year, standing before her, but her son, who just so happened to look a lot like their closest friend and bandmate James Potter, over whom Lily had cried for a year, missed for two, and loved for much longer, was sitting in the middle of it all.

Sirius, always tactful, took another look between Harry and Lily, before he seemed to break out of a stupor, and spoke.

“What in the ever-living _fuck_ Evans,” He spat out, looking at Harry again.

Marlene just stood in the middle of it all, confused.

“Marley,” Lily said quietly, without breaking eye-contact with Sirius, “Can you take Harry upstairs for me?”

“I mean, yeah, but are you alright?”

“No, no, I’m perfectly fine, I just need to talk with these old friends of mine, for a minute, and he’ll just be a distraction.”

“Alright then, I have to talk to Minerva, so just yell if you need anything,” Marlene said while backing away, still holding Harry, “bye.”

With this, Marlene rushed away and left Lily alone in the cafe.

***

“Remus, how’re you doing? It’s been a while,” Lily said softly, trying to diffuse some of the tension that had built in the room.

Remus just looked confused, before shaking his head, and saying, very eloquently, “Uh, Lily?”

“Uh Lily is right, Rem, what the fuck is going on, Lily?” Sirius spat out again, this time louder than before.

“Sirius, would you like a latte?” Lily answered, still avoiding the topic that they were so obviously trying to breach, “It might make you feel better.”

“No, Evans, it will most certainly _not_ ,” Sirius fumed, “You disappear off the face of the earth after we leave, don’t return ANY of our phone calls, text messages, emails. Broke James’ heart, you did, but that doesn’t matter to you, does it. Now all of a sudden you’re here, with a son? Who bears an uncanny resemblance to James, and-”

“Yeah he does, doesn’t he,” Lily whispered, as Remus’ head snapped up, realization dawning on his face.

“Lil, you don’t mean to say that that kid is,”

“I mean, yeah, I do,” Lily snapped, already regretting her choice in telling them.

Sirius’ face changed then, though Lily couldn’t quite place his expression. She was waiting for one of them to say something else, anything really.

“Does he know?” Sirius questioned, “Lily, does James know?”

“No,” Lily whispered, trying not to cry.

At this, Sirius really lost it.

“What do you _mean_ he doesn’t know Evans. You’re not trying to tell me that you’ve had this kid for, well it has to have been over a year, and it hasn’t crossed your big brain to maybe just send James a text. _‘Oh, hey James, I’m having your kid!’_ That’s all you needed to say. But no! You kept this a secret, not just from all of us, but from James fucking Potter, who may I add is probably one of the best things to have ever happened to either of us, and all after crushing him with no warning? I thought you were cruel when we left, and you ignored us all, but I would’ve never thought that our Lily Evans would do something like this.”

With these words, Sirius turned to Remus and muttered, “I’m going for a walk,” before storming out of the little building.

Lily was trying not to cry. She didn’t realize how bad it all sounded until Sirius had put it into words. Before she could think any more about it, Remus spoke up,

“Lil, is it really his?”

“Yeah, Rem, it is, and I have no fucking clue what to do now,” Lily sighed, “what are the odds he’s telling him right now?”

“I’d say slim, considering I can see him stalking around right now, but you need to tell James anyway, Lily.”

“Do you think I don’t know that, Remus! I have spent the last two years imagining how James and I could meet again, and how I would have to tell him about Harry-”

“Harry?”

“Harry James Evans, 14 months old, my kid? Anyway, I never once thought I would actually have to see him again, though. I thought it would hurt too much, and it honestly still would,” Lily exhaled.

“But, Lily, you ghosted him when we left. You ghosted all of us. Hell, we offered you a spot on the tour bus, and you just stopped answering.”

“I wasn’t going to hold you back. Especially not James. You were headed for stardom, with your big fancy band, and I didn’t want to be the chain that held you all down.”

“Fine,” Remus started, “why didn’t you tell James before we left, then.”

“I didn’t know, Remus! I found out almost two months after I had last spoken to any of you. I didn’t even know how I was going to deal with it. I couldn’t deal with seeing everyone again on top of it.”

“But Li-”

“No, don’t Lily me, Remus! I was seventeen and terrified, and I absolutely regret not telling anyone now, but I am not going to try and defend the decision I made two years ago. I don’t have the energy for it. I know I was wrong, but you’ll just have to accept it,” Lily finished, frustrated.

Remus looked like he was trying to choose his next words very carefully, but before he could open his mouth, Sirius stormed back in, not looking any calmer.

“Here’s what you’ll do, Evans, if you don’t want me to call Prongs and tell him right now,” Sirius stated, “I’m going to give him your phone number, assuming you give it to me. He will call you, and you two will meet up or something, and you will tell him about the kid. He needs to know Evans, no matter what your reasoning was.”

“Okay, Sirius,” Lily agreed, recognizing that this was her only option.

“Now,” Sirius continued, beginning to walk towards the counter, “I’ve said all that I needed to say. Why don’t the three of us catch up?” He said, before walking behind the counter to hug Lily.

***

After Lily had explained the last two years to Remus and Sirius, and given Sirius her new number, they chatted while Lily worked her shift. It wasn’t busy, so they practically had free range. Before long, Marlene reappeared downstairs, where she introduced herself and promptly left, muttering something about overtime. Soon enough, Lily glanced at the clock, and noticed that it was about time to close up.

“I should really get going,” Lily said, realizing that Harry had been upstairs the entire time.

“We should too,” Remus agreed, “We have to get back to the hotel before James and Peter think we’ve died out here.”

Lily laughed quietly, trying to think of something to say as they parted ways.

“I really hope you two figure it out, Lil,” Sirius interjected, “See you around.” Sirius nodded at her, before pulling Remus away, and out of the shop, putting an arm around him. 

***

After closing up the shop, and getting Harry back from McGonagall, Lily made the walk home as quickly as she could. She couldn’t stop thinking about how she was going to face James after two years, let alone tell him he had a son. The night went on, and she had begun to gather more and more anxiety. One side of her was rational; _‘They’re in a band, Sirius probably hasn’t given him the number, they’re probably on stage right now,’_ she thought. No matter how much she tried to reassure herself that James wasn’t furious, storming to her flat, assuming he had found it somehow, to take Harry, she couldn’t seem to get rid of that nagging feeling in the back of her head.

As the night went on, Lily found herself putting Harry to bed in the other room, and settling on the small, worn-out couch that sat in their flat, cellphone in reach. Right when she decided she was just going to go to bed, and hope Sirius somehow got her number wrong, her cell phone began to buzz.

Apprehensively, Lily picked up the small device, 

“Hello, Lily Evans speaking,” she said on a breath out.

“Lily!” exclaimed a familiar, quite unwelcome voice, “It’s you!”

“Severus?” Lily questioned, “How the fuck did you get this number?”

“I found it on a napkin on the street. Lucky it said your name. Whenever I get your number and then call it, it tells me you don’t exist-”

“Of course it tells you that Severus, we’re not friends! We stopped being friends the moment you started hanging out with your little group of nazis. _Don’t_ call me again,” with one last word, Lily hung up, and blocked the number, hoping that he would listen, to her, although knowing that he wouldn’t. Goddamn Sirius and his apparent inability to keep a napkin safe. As she turned away from her living room to go to bed, giving up on receiving a call from James, a knock sounded at the door.

Lily neared the door, hoping that Severus hadn’t somehow gotten her address. Upon opening the door, however, a cautious, wonderfully familiar face looked back at her.

“James,” she breathed out.

“Lily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear dialogue is going to be the death of me.
> 
> Nonetheless, I hope you're enjoying if you've gotten this far.


	3. I'll see you around, Evans

“Hi, what are you doing here?” Lily rushed out, not trusting her voice.

“I’m sorry for showing up so late, Lily, I just- Sirius said that you needed to tell me something and I wasn’t sure what, so I got worried, and then lost the napkin where your number was written-”

“So _that’s_ where Sev got it from,” Lily muttered.

“What does _Snivellus_ have to do with this?”

“Nothing. Listen, James, I do have something to tell you, but it’s late, and I’m not sure this is a conversation we should have here. How did you get my address anyway?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Involving?”

“Sirius, mostly.”

Lily took that as she didn’t want to know, and ran with it.

“Before I go,” James continued, “Sirius gave me a letter to give you and told me not to read it, but not to leave until you’ve read it.”

Lily cautiously opened the letter,

_Dearest Lily-flower,  
If you don’t tell James about your kid, I will tell him myself, in the most embarrassing way possible, involving the cafe, and pictures I found on your Instagram (nice job blocking us by the way, as if I, the great Sirius Black, couldn’t get past a measly blocking.) Look, I know you don’t want to hear this (or in this case read it,) but you need to tell James. Keeping it from him is wrong, and I can’t stand up for it, no matter how much I like you. Hopefully, at this point in the letter, you’ve accepted your fate, and are telling James. If not, I’ll see you at The Pheonix tomorrow. Nice knowing you.  
-Sirius Black  
P.s. We should really get together for coffee someday soon, Lily, and catch up. We’ve missed you! - Remus and Peter_

Lily sighed, knowing that Sirius would follow through with his plan if James left without meeting Harry. After a moment, and after looking at James’ slightly nervous face, Lily decided to bite the bullet.

“Come in, we’ve got a lot to talk about.” 

***

After they had sat down in the small flat, James seemed to take a moment to look around. If he noticed the surplus of childrens toys and baby clothes strewn around he didn’t say anything.

“I guess I should start from the beginning,” Lily said, filling the awkward silence, “When you and the boys left, I started working myself into the ground. I was always so tired, and worn out, that I didn’t notice when I started getting sick.”

“Lily, you’re not dying are you?” James asked, worried.

“No, no, nothing like that. Anyways, Professor McGonagall sat me down one day, and expressed her concerns, but it made me realise that everything was not normal. I just- I don’t know how to tell you this.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out here Lil,” James interjected, “Does this have anything to do with me?”

“Oh, it has everything to do with you. Just- wait in here for a minute, it might be easier to show you.”

Lily left the room, feeling slightly dizzy, to retrieve the scrapbook that she had been working on for the past two years. It held memories from all the important moments in her and Harry’s life. Harry’s hospital bracelet, pictures of her and Harry taken by Minerva, only hours after he had been born. Lily had never shared this book with anyone, but if anyone deserved to see it, it was James.

“Hey, Lily,” James said as she re-entered the small room, scrapbook in hand, “Who’s kid does all this stuff belong to? You were never one for babysitting.”

“That- This is what I’m trying to explain to you,” Lily responded, as she watched James' face turn even more confused. She handed James the book, and watched in silence as he flipped through the pages.

“Lily,” he said, blood draining from his face, “You have a kid? Who’s- Who’s kid is this?”

“Yours,” Lily whispered, making eye contact with James.

James closed the book, and looked away from her, “You can’t be serious Lily. We- how would this even happen? Are you sure?”

“I’m perfectly serious. There’s a sleeping baby in the next room to prove it.”

This seemed to set James off, “I have a _kid_?! I have a kid, and you didn’t even feel the need to tell me. When I left, and you started ignoring me, I had no other choice than to think _‘Oh well! I suppose she’s moved on’_ and now you’re telling me it was because you were pregnant? I mean _come on_ , Lily, you have to understand where I’m coming from,” James paused for a moment to take a breath.

“James, I _couldn’t_ tell you. I only found out two months after you left. I hadn’t spoken to you since the night of that _god-forsaken_ halloween party. Don’t you think I would’ve called if I didn’t have my reasons?!”

“Then what _were_ your fucking reasons Lily? I called, so many times, and I never even heard from you again. I couldn’t even find your fucking Instagram after I left.”

“ _I wasn’t going to be what held you back_ ,” Lily yelled back, fighting with James having brought back so many memories, good and bad, “You wanted this, what you have right now, going on tour with The Marauders, making it big, you wanted it for so long. Who was I to hold you back from that? I didn’t want to be the small town, childhood girlfriend that held you all back from that? I couldn’t do that to you!”

“Ok, fine! You didn’t want to hold us back. Doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me you were _pregnan-_ ”

“Are you even listening? If you had found out, you would’ve come back. You would’ve dropped everything, and you would’ve come back, because that’s how unfailingly supportive you’ve always been. And if I had told you you wouldn’t have what you have now. I wasn’t, and I still won’t be what’s keeping you here in fucking Cokeworth.”

What Lily was saying seemed to finally sink in for James. She didn’t know when he had stood up, but slowly, he sank back down onto her couch, putting his face in his hands.  
Reluctantly, Lily sat next to him.

“I know not telling you was wrong, but I don’t regret the choices I made, especially not telling you about Harry,” Lily whispered, “You have to understand that. I didn’t want to tell you, and then have you resent me, because your band was on tour, and you were stuck in fucking _Cokeworth_ with a baby and no life.”

James was silent for what felt like forever, sitting there on her couch with his head down. Just when she was considering speaking again, he lifted his head to look at her.

“I would’ve come back,” James said slowly, “I would’ve, you’re right. And I appreciate your thinking of what I wanted with the band or whatever when you made that decision. But keeping this from me, Lil? I don’t know what you were thinking, thinking I would resent you. I mean it would’ve held me back, for sure, but at least I would’ve been here for you. I hate that you went through all this alone, even if we aren’t together anymore.”

“And I mean, what would your mum think?” Lily said before she could stop herself, a habit from years of knowing and loving his parents. Suddenly, however, James whipped his head up, face whitening.

“Jesus, how the _fuck_ am I supposed to tell my mother I have a kid. I am ninety percent certain she thinks I’m still a virgin,” James seemed to rethink what he was saying, “I mean, if that’s okay with you?”

“Well, I suppose the cat is out of the bag now, so to speak. Just- I don’t know. Nevermind.”

Before Lily could finish her thought, a loud noise came from down the hall, in the bedroom that Lily shared with Harry, followed by a small wail.

“I should probably go get that, she said, standing up, “Do- do you want to come see him?”

James stood hesitantly.

***

Lily couldn’t handle it.

James _fucking_ Potter was standing beside her, looking down at her- _their_ son, as if it were perfectly normal.

While he had been angry just moments earlier, James’ face looking down on Harry was a complete turnaround, although Lily couldn’t place exactly what his face showed. After Lily had picked Harry up for a moment, Harry had gone back to sleep, barely aware of the man standing in the corner of the room. After he was back asleep in his crib however, James took a couple steps forward, to glance into the crib.

Lily thought she might have seen tears in his eyes.

After a couple minutes, she glanced at the clock, to realise just how late it was.

“James,” she whispered, motioning for him to follow her back into the living room. James took another look at Harry, before turning, and following her out.

“He’s beautiful, Lil,” he said after a moment, both of them standing awkwardly in the small room.

“He is, isn’t he,” she responded, “However, Harry aside, it’s really late, and I have an early morning at the cafe, and really need to go to be-”

James glanced at his watch, also realizing the time, “I should actually really get out of here. The boys are probably waiting up, and Sirius needs his beauty sleep,” James said as he turned towards the flat’s door.

“James, why don’t you and I and Harry all go for lunch tomorrow?” Lily said before he could turn the handle, “If you want to, that is.”

“Of course I want to!” replied James quickly, “Just name a time and place.”

“Meet me at The Phoenix at 11? I have a break then.”

“Great!” James said before turning and stepping through the door, “I’ll you around, Evans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, if you're here! I'm so sorry if this chapter made no sense, I was writing it while very tired and only half-conscious.


End file.
